Monday, March 21, 2011

Thank you for holding my hand

20 years is a long time... a long time to be best of friends - lifelong pals. And soon, so very soon life will be changing... perhaps the biggest change since 7 years ago. Then it was Evie, she was my pal too... wrestling together, adventure, energy... it was hard to let go. And now...

I'm sitting in our little office while a glow of pink graces the distant horizon. The sun is setting... and in the gathering twilight my mind traces back over many years gone by. From my earliest memories she was there - we were a team, her and I. From distant lands with strange people, to crowded airports and new faces, we met life together.

I think back on my first memory - of washing dishes out on the lawn. I was just two then, and she was five or six, but I can remember we did it together. She washed and I rinsed... and the dishes became our toys.

Time passed on and we grew older...

There were our glorified felt stories and paper doll houses. We engineered intricate lego campers and dreamed up fantastic scenarios for our traveling lego families. There were the little model planes we would fly around the house with their airports and destinations representing the globe.

Then there were the dolls and tea parties. Yes I had my own doll too - it was important. I had my baby and she had hers - it was grand fun... Not to mention the many hours she would spend with me as we excavated new roads with my cars and trucks in our backyard. Sandcastles, forts, crafts, art...

But life was not all play - there was work to do. Baking bread and folding laundry... I was her little helper. She was the master of organization and would organize grand surprises for Dad and Mom while they were gone - putting the three of us to action.

Like I said, we were pals... Hand in hand we might life together. I always looked up to her as my sister and friend. Often were the times when visiting churches that I'd beg and plead to stay with her in Sabbath School, though I was always way too young... I was the shy one, clinging to her hand.

Life has gone by now... There have been moves and changes, but we've always been close and we've almost always done everything together.

No more do we gather around the lego box, or pull out the cars and trucks... the time for dolls has past. Now there are the quiet moments at the pond or in our rooms, sharing our hearts, dreams, plans... Walking to the farm with the fresh breeze and singing birds overhead. Working, laughing, crying...

ASI, GYC, Family Camps, so many things we experienced together - memories to cherish. It's hard to think of doing them without her... 

Thank you Caroline, thank you so much for never letting go...

For drawing me back when my heart was far away...
For keeping my eyes looking up.
For teaching me to persevere no matter what the cost...
For reflecting Jesus.

Thank you for never letting Him go...
... for praying,
and for holding my hand.

Things will be different soon. No longer will there be the glow of light at the end of the hall, nor will I need to make sure to try and not wake you up as I light my morning study. I'll brush my teeth in silence, and walk the hill alone. Our nights together talking, praying... will vanish to mere memories... but they will forever stand as pillars in the formation of my life. Beacons of your faithfulness to Him, and how He can use the willing vessel to draw another heart. I owe so much to His faithfulness through you. Only eternity will reveal what words cannot express...

Soon your hand will be given to another... a fine man, honorable and true. I love him too... and I'm glad to gain another brother. And soon you'll meet life together with him - hand in hand.

Thank you Caroline... I love you more than you can know.

And if this were written instead, with ink from my pen,
you'd see the stains of my love on the paper's wet rim...

We'll still be pals... just in a different way.

I love you! Billy boy...

     "The highest duty that devolves upon youth is in their own homes, blessing father and mother, brothers and sisters, by affection and true interest. Here they can show self-denial and self-forgetfulness in caring and doing for others. . . . What an influence a sister may have over brothers! If she is right, she may determine the character of her brothers. Her prayers, her gentleness, and her affection may do much in a household."   AH p. 36


  1. Oh Paulo... "Beautiful" is not a big enough word. Thanks for sharing... :) God's ways are amazing...

  2. Wow. What a tribute. Praise the Lord.

  3. We read your post around the breakfast table this morning, Paul. Thanks for sharing. I was the last sibling to leave home, too...I know just how it feels! Blessings on your day! :)

  4. Thank you friends, I owe it all to Him... :)

    Life will go on, and there will be new lessons to learn... Indeed God's ways are amazing.

    Thanks again, and I love you all too! :)

  5. Thank you was just what I needed today. As Sean said, "beautiful" is not a big enough word. It encouraged my heart to keep pressing on as a 'big sister'. May I be found as faithful!

  6. You and Caroline have been so blessed to have had each other as siblings and to have been such good friends. This is certainly a time for celebrating, but also understandably it brings with it a little sadness. You certainly brought me to tears.

  7. What a blessing to know the work of God in your lives, both of you! Such thankful and blessed parents you have, I am quite sure. They have passed on to you the enduring qualities that bless our world. We love you!
    Uncle Norm and Auntie Le.

  8. very beautiful read. you and caroline have set such a great example of family value, boundaries, love and above all Yeshua. It reminded me and encouraged me to build my relationship with my sister even more. May Hashem bless you with abundance.

  9. What an anointed and eloquent tribute! This testifies strongly to the blessings of the Christian home in which you were reared. Is there a greater witness to the saving grace of God than is seen in the home where the love of Jesus reigns supreme? Though the saga of life is so bitter/sweet, even at its best, I rest in the hope that I will see with the apostle that the Lord does "all things well."

  10. Thank you for the way you have honored your sister. Your tribute was so special and it really touched my heart. I also know how much it meant to her to. Reading about the difference that your sister has made in your life inspires me to be the sister Nathan needs.

  11. Thank you friends. :) Your comments are touching. May we each be drawn closer to Him.

  12. Paul, you will never understand how great a blessing you have! My heart has always longed for that kind of love. Mine was not a Christ centered home...hold forever these beautiful memories...only Heaven could be better! God Bless You!
    Mrs. Teale


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